Where to begin? I get married in 26 days. That alone is a life change. Not to mention changing school programs, finding a job, and beginning our year long "missions trip" with the Schweitzer's. Life is crazy. Between wedding planning and job searching I have been so stressed and frazzled that I have kicked God out of the driver's seat and have taken my own wheel.
I am a mess. 13 bloody noses and about 10 zits on my face go to show the amount of stress I have been under. Sometimes when I am driving I pull over to the side of the road and just take a breath because I need just a moment to regroup and press on.
Now don't get me wrong. I am so excited for all that this new journey will bring. I long to be married to the love of my life. I jump with joy when I dream about our future in ministry. But Satan, he has other plans for me....plans which I know are not of God. He desires to break me, to harm me, to stress me out to the point where I become disobedient to God. Satan, until today, has been winning.
It is in our moments of weakness, stress, anger, hurt, weariness, that Satan is able to grab a foot-hold over me. When I am tired or sick, sad or upset, Satan knows and he attacks. Because of my stress with all the LIFE CHANGES, I have become vulnerable. But I can't let him win. I can't give up. I can't back down from where Christ is leading.
My flesh is fighting my spirit daily. I nail my flesh to the cross often, but never seemingly enough because my flesh fights back. It comes back stronger, louder, and more over powering.
But I am not alone in this fight against the flesh. I have a beautiful bride to be, amazing best friends, awesome church family, and even 20 hours away I have support for this battle.
Isaiah tells us that we should not grow weary because He will give us rest. As my life continues to change, as this battle seems endless, I have a hope and a promise that HE never grows weary and that he lifts me up like wings on eagles. What a promise I have in Him!
Life may CHANGE but my God remains the same!
