this is my heart...this was my journey.

I met God in Ecuador. I met him in the mountains, in the air, in the laughter of His children, in his followers, in His volcanoe. I met him in the Sun, the rain, the sweat and in the tears. I heard his voice in the planning, the failing, the unknown, and in the darkness. I felt his hand in the city, the village, the orphanage and during the traveling. I met God in Ecuador.

I mean, I had met God before, but in no way have I ever made an effort to MEET Him. In the past, I treated him as I would another person down the hallway. There was a hello shared in passing, a smile when I was in a good mood. Now don't get me wrong, I am in now way saying that I did not LOVE God, I have just never been in love with God.

This is my journey. The journey of how I met Him. This is the storty of His grace shed on me and how I found it in Ecuador.

Picture this. A brown eyed black haired child, seeking love and attention. Looking in all the wrong places, he set off on a search for something or someone to fill the hole in his heart. On the outside this boy had it all together. His smile, in the beginning, never let anyone know that something was missing. But on the inside, a void had been sewn into the inside of his heart. He filled the void with friendships and hobbies. He masked the emptiness with relationships and activities. But no matter how many friends or how fun the hobbies, the boy was always left standing in a puddle of his own fears and insecurities.

God was there, quiet yet never silent. The boy heard faint whispers, but drowned them out with hope for earthly pleasures. Moments in his life, he would hear God louder, but the boy would continue to supress the calling and seek other voices.

As time went on, God used the earthly friendships turn into better things. The boy began to meet people that heard the voice louder, and the boy began to allow the voice to resound louder in his own life. Slowly the boy's life began to change. It did not always make sense, but worldly pleasures began to disappear from his life, and the boy learned to seek God's voice more and more.

The voice led the boy to a town many many miles away. The voice led him to a school with no friends, and hardly any possesions. The voice brought him to Lincoln, Illinois. After a few months at the new school and town, the boy met a friend who would help push him along God's path. This friendship was unlike any other. The friend rejoiced with him, failed with him, prayed with him, and rejoiced some more.

One day, the friend's wife needed help picking up a box of food from a local church ministry called Angel Food. The boy gladly went with her to help her load up the boxes, and was quickly welcomed by a Church who was not afraid to let the Holy Spirit live inside of them. They were so welcoming and friendly, that the boy, his friend and his friend's wife went to the Church the following Sunday.

After the message, the Pastor made an announcement that anyone interested in leading worship needed to talk with the Worship Leader after the service, so the boy and his friend (after a little push from his friend's wife) muscled up the courage to volunteer. They were gladly accepted and literally were on stage the next Sunday.

That is my story. That is where God had brought me after sending me to Lincoln, Illinois on my journey to become a Youth Minister. Grace Church in Normal, Illinois had welcomed me and my friends and slowly my life began to change.

One Sunday, I had one of those "Where am I moments?" You know the moments when you stop and look around and think to yourself....How in the world did I get here? I mean all the stats say that I should be in a run down town with no education after high school and with no wife, but a kid on the way. How did I get to be at a Christian university, in Illinois, and How did I end up with the privlidge of helping my best friend lead worship at a Church with such an amazing body of believers....wow. All I could do was hit my knees and thank God for what I was witnessing.

A few weeks went on and I left for Montana for a missions trip to Pinehaven Christian Children's Ranch. It was while I was there that I recieved a message that would change my life.

Julie Myers, a girl who I had only met once prior, sent a group of people a message asking them if they would like to travel with her to Ecuador in August. It was late March at this point, and when I read the message, I was excited, but knew in my mind that going to Ecuador was not going to fit in my summer plans. So I quickly shot down the idea in my heart.

After returning from Montana, I recieved another message from Julie asking if Ecuador was a go, and I immediatley responded with a "no thanks, but I will be praying for all that go!" Instantly,  I felt a handprint across my face from God. I had never felt such a strong sense of calling, but this time I knew I had made the wrong choice, so I quickly responded to her, "Just kidding, I WILL be going to Ecuador! Count me in!"

This is the point where everything began to fall together. By fall together, I mean it did not come easy. I had many doubts with this trip. I fought God often in preperation for this trip. I always lost, but never without a fight (which I learned there is no fighting with the Almighty!)

For example, one day, I called Julie to tell her that I thought there was NO WAY that I would be able to raise all the money for my trip. A week later, I had raised 75%. Then one day I freaked out because I had no idea how I was going to pay for an added airport tax.....I immediatley began to complain and worry.....ten minutes later, God sent a calling in the heart of someone near and dear to me. She texted me and said that my fee would be paid by her and that it was all taken care of. I instantly began to cry, because the trip seemed to be "falling" together. God was providing.

The day had finally arrived. My bags were all packed, thanks to my dear friend Abby for teaching me to pack and helping me remember things I never would have! I loaded up my car and drove to the church parking lot. I was greeted by all my fellow trip buddies, and we were off.

We started the journey at about 7 in the morning and we landed in Ecuador at about 11:30 pm that night. It had been a long traveling day and the trip was already taking it's toll on me. But God had provided safe travels so I went to bed and tried to sleep as much as I could before the early morning wake up call.

We got up early and had another four hours of travel from Quito Ecuador to Riobamba Ecuador. The roads were bumpy, but the mountains kept my attention. I was in AWE! Wow. My God had painted the mountain tops with beautiful white snow and had touched the blue sky with just the right amount of love and warmth that my heart began to melt. I was in LOVE!

We finally made it to Riobamba and we got lost a few times in the city trying to find our apartment. By the Grace of God we found it and we were amazed by where we would be living for the next week and a half. A beautiful apartment fully furnished and a wonderfull landlady that would be taking care of us. Her name was Gusti and she quickly became our new Amiga! (Friend)

After unloading our bus, it finally hit me. I was in Ecuador. Excitement filled my heart, but fear filled my mind. I couldnt read the signs, I didnt understand our driver or Gusti. I was hungry, tired, and at this point in time, I really just felt nervous. I was in a foreign land with a foreign language and foreign feelings. I felt overwhemed with emotions.

I quickly had to overcome those emotions, because we had to load back up on the bus to head to the orphanage. Wait...the orphanage. That is why I am here. I am here to help at the orphange. Phew....things started to brighten up because I was reminded of the purpose.

We loaded up the bus and headed to the orphange. We stepped off the bus at the orphanage and the gates opened and we walked in. The kids were playing, and the Missionaries, Ron and Glenda met us as the gates closed. We made it. Wow. They showed us around a bit and gave us some more history of how the Arc began. Two people, a husband and wife, followed God's calling and 70 something kids later, the Arc was standing and ready for us to arrive. We met a few kids, and ate lunch with them right away.

After lunch, we played soccer with them and then headed back to the apartment to get some rest so that we could start work the next day.

The rest of the week would consist of four team members working with the babies and the other 8 doing some sort of manual labor in the morning. We would eat lunch at 12:30 and then hang with the kids until 3:00. At 3 we would gather the children together in the dining room and Brian and Sarah would deliver a Bible Study that I wrote, and the kids would do a craft that Heather and Brenda prepared. We would then sing a song with the missionaries daughter Naomi and all the kids on the porch outside the house. We would then play a game with the kids before heading back to our apartment for some much needed R and R! Not everyday was exactly as mentioned above, but that was pretty much our routine. We learned quickly that we needed to be flexible.

Everyday, I fell more in love with each child I would play with. They would sit on my lap, and God would break my heart for their story. I met a child who had parents that were mentally ill. I met a boy whose dad left him at the hospital because he couldnt provide health care for him. I met a baby that was abandoned in a back pack. Each kid had their own story. Just like me. I had a story. Nothing like their story, but God showed me that we all had a story. It was his story that He wrote and we were the characters. I began to hear from the Missionaires and their children about all the stories. It was AMAZING to hear the power of Grace and the mercy God has on his people!

Another thing that I learned was the communication barrier. I feared this part when I was planning for the trip. I feared that because of my skin color, people would expect me to speak Spanish. When we first arrived, I hardly knew anything in Spanish. I understood a little, but was so nervous that all I did know disappeared. We had problems with the transportation and such and I has no clue what to say. Day after day, I had to lean more on God's words and not my own.

Funny Story: Julie and I were pretty much the two people that had to do all the talking. One day we were in need of a plunger. So Julie and I tag teamed asking our landlady for one....this is how the talk went down. We walked upstairs and knocked on the door. When the lady answered we said....with out any confidence in our voices...."El Bano....uhhh....no trabajo......uhhh.....nesseccito....ummmmm.....un.....uhhhhh (not knowing the word for plunger, Julie and I both did the hand movements for a plunger very awkwardly, and the lady laughed and brought us out a plunger saying..."Un Bambo!." Bambo.....yes a bambo. I knew that, haha.

You see, as the week went on, God broke down many communication barriers. He let our smiles and our hearts be our words to the children at the orphanage. He let our actions be a dialouge to those in the city. Our hands and our feet became our mouths and our tounges and even the little Spanish we did know began to flourish and we were able to love the children even without being able to have a full conversation.

I learned a song from Naomi and the children in Spanish. It is called Tu Amor Hace Eco En Todo Mi Universo. (Your Love Makes An Echo in All of My Universe) It is about how God is in all that is around us. And not only did I learn how to sing the song, but the word's jumped off the page and into my heart, and I felt the song. To hear 70 something orphans singing about God's love in a different language spoke to me. The first night after hearing that song, I went to bed in tears. The good kind of tears, the WOW, God amazes me kind of tears.

Constantly throughout this trip, God showed himself to me. There were kids in the orphange who stood out to me and who became a reflection of God to me. There was a boy named Daniel who had to wear a red helmet because he had bad balance and lots of seizures. He did not always smell that great, but always wanted to be in your lap. It was brought to my attention by some fellow team members that that is how we might be before God. We our dirty from our sin, and we are heavy, yet God allows us, wants us to sit in his lap and share with Him our lives. I met God in Daniel.

Sammy, a little boy who had been dropped off at a hospital became my little shadow from day one. He followed me wherever I went. He was probably three years old. His smile would capture my heart everytime we embraced. One day, he was sitting in time out and he wanted so badly to hug me. (The last time he was in time out her ran to me anyways, and we both got in a little trouble.) As soon as he was free from timeout he ran into my arms and hugged me so tightly. I held him for a few minutes, and then sat him down so that I could continue working. His love for me reminded me that sometimes God just wants to hold us and never let us go. I met God in Sammy.

Oliver. Oh Oliver. How you have captured my heart forever. You were found in a back pack, and oh if it was not illegal, you would have left in my back pack! When we were planning for the trip I saw his picture and instantly fell in love. One day, it was time to put him down for a nap and he began to fuss for a little while until I sat down beside his crip and held his hand. Just like the picture in my  blog profile. He gripped my hand so tightly and I closed my eyes and prayed for him. I prayed that God would be preparing in someones heart. I prayed he would prepare a man and a woman a place in their heart for Oliver. I also prayed that Oliver would seek God in all of his life, and that when Oliver ever felt as if he was alone, God would be made know in him. I held Oliver's hand that afternoon as he slept, and I never wanted to let God. I met God in Oliver.

Ron and Glenda, the directors of this orphanage, dropped everything in their world, and left Canada to begin this orphange 14 years ago. They trusted that God would take care of their needs and He has, and continues to do. They are Dad and Mom to the children. Through them, I learned that trusting God not only changes your life, but it can change the lives of others, like all of the children in their orphanage. I met God in Ron and Glenda.

Naomi, one of the directors daughters, taught me so much. Well, she led our group around downtown Riobamba and taught me that cars dont stop for you to cross the road, never to order blood soup, and that sometimes a person on the side of the road will give you a piece of chicken on a stick for free, but halfway down the block they will chase you down for a dollar haha. Naomi has a heart for each child that is at the Arc. She loves them and the love her. I could see in her eyes that this was not just a thing her parents did, but this was a ministry which she played an active role in. Naomi taught us the songs in Spanish, and when she sang them to us, she smiled as if she was singing them at the gates of Heaven. I met God in Naomi.

Zoe, another one of the directors daughters, also taught us so much. She helped us understand Ecuadorian culture and Ecuadorian busses. She taught me how to say the double ll in mountain Spanish (j-sound not y-sound) She translated for our group many days including our trip to the village. Zoe quickly became one of my friends. She was my age, yet her heart for God and his people made it seem as though she had been a Christian for 50 years. I met God in Zoe.

Our team was made up of many members. We had Abbey and Chad, they are getting married in Dec. Abbey was good with the kids, and she was great at doing things no one else wanted to do (like feeding the babies) and Chad was great at making us all laugh and playing hop-scotch with the children. I met God in "Chabby". John and Brenda Dean, were our "Mom" and "Pa" on the trip. They spent their 25th anniversary working at the orphanage along side us. John, we joked, was the Chuck Norris of the group. He was the oldest man, but he got all the manual labor jobs done wonderfully. Brenda was in charge of crafts. The kids loved all the crafts and they told us they would treasure them forever. But most importantly, Brenda quickly made friends with all the special needs children in the Arc. They loved her and she loved them. I met God in John and Brenda. Heather, oh as sarcastic as Heather could be, she was a huge help when it came to all the planning and carrying out of different fundraisers and bible study activites. Heather helped me to see that we may never know all the answers to life's questions, but God is never leaving our side and she also taught me that sometimes God is pushing us to do something and although we might not always know why, in the end his Will will prevail. I met God in Heather. Jordan and Hannah, Jordan worked on our video that we showed at Church the Sunday we returned. He did a great job capturing the purpose of the trip. But the thing that stood out the most to me about Jordan was his love for the Lord. every night before bed, he sat up and prayed. Even when it was super late and we all just wanted to sleep Jordan would not go to bed without conversing with the Lord. I met God in Jordan. Hannah did great with the children. They loved her, and her heart was always worn on her sleeve. She was never afraid to share with our group all that she learned each day! I met God in Hannah. Sarah, oh sweet Sarah. Her love for EACH kid, literally brings tears to my eyes. She held each one tight and through all, she held her head up high, and praised God for everything he taught her. I met God in Sarah. Brian. Brian. Brian. He never had a complaint. He did all that was asked of him, and some. He taught a few lessons and preached in the village. A man who shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ without shame, I truly look up to him. I met God in Brian. Jared, the big teddy bear. Although Jared and I had our disagreements, I admired his love for all the kids. He worked hard and made sure that he had time to spend with the children no matter how tired he was. I met God in Jared.

Now Julie. Where would we be without Julie. She sought after God and although at times when the fog covered our future she held his hand and never let go. When it seemed that our mission had been defeated, Julie held strong to the Lord and led us though the storm. A woman of faith, unlike any other, she led our group to a higher calling. She encouraged me every step of the way, and when I felt like I had nothing left in my she was there to point me to the Lord as my strength. Julie, although had no control over each outcome of the day, she entrusted that God knew His plans, and she so freely gave Him the reigns. Thank you so much Julie. Without your desire to follow God's call, this trip would not have happend. I met God in Julie.

I sit here on my bed, exhausted from all that has happend in the last four months. But it is because of me being weak that I have found who makes us strong. It is because I have doubted, I have discovered who knows the end results. It is because I have been scared that I have found my refuge. I met God in Ecuador, I met him there because of his Grace. He led me there, He held me there, and He sent me home safely. Not so that I would forget about the trip and have a few knic-knacks and pictures from Ecuador to put away, not so I could check it off my Christian Check-list, but so that I could meet Him. So that after returning from the trip, I could share with all of you everything he has taught me. So that I could wake up each morning and die to myself....take up my cross and follow him. But most importantly so I could fall more and more in love with Him EVERYDAY. I met God in my heart this morning, and I will meet him again there every morning for as long as I shall live.

Have you met God? You do not have to go all the way to Ecuador to meet him. He is right there with you. He is at Wal-mart in the heart of the checker. He is at the doctor's office front desk. He is in the airport waiting for a plane. He is huddled under the street lamp with a sign for money. He is in the smile of a child. He is in trees, the sun, the grass and the sky. My God, he is not hiding. We hide...we hide from him because of our past sins, our fears, our insecurities. I met God in Ecuador because I was to blind to see him in all the things here. I am praying that it doesnt take 1400 dollars, two planes, a four hour long bus drive, and a HUGE plate of rice for you to meet him. Meet him right now while you are reading this. If you need someone to pray for you, I am just a message/phone call away, but most importantly God is right there with you. I love you and I thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog. This is my heart. This was my journey. What does your's look like?

Until the Whole World Hears,

Aaron Zapata